My life my everything

Well what can I say about this day well today wouldve been 5 years of being with the love of my life if the distance wouldve let us be together but it didnt happen. 5 years ago I met this wonderful guy that I didnt know would mean more to me then anything in this world. I wasnt looking for anything more then a friendship after losing the guy I thought was the love of my life back in middle school I cried for a long time and I promised myself I wasnt going let my heart fall in love again until I was older but it didnt happen that way before even talking I saw him on match on tagged and he looked cute so I added him and a few days after he approved my request he sent me a message so we started talking and after a few hours of talking he asked to be his girlfriend and I gladly accepted but it only lasted 16 hours the first time the second time we got together we last a month and a half and then the last time we got back together before breaking up for good we were together for 3 weeks and when we broke up he accused me of cheating when clearly he was the one that cheated on me. But after we both had time to recover from this experience I learned that I needed it to learn that everyone makes mistakes and not all relationships are what they seem in books and I always regret ever losing him because after we broke up I found out weeks later he was dating someone else I found out my jealous side and I was so mad at him and myself for not making it work and I was trying to win back something I knew from the moment we broke up wasn't mine anymore and I got even more pissed and tried to break them up but it kinda back fired on me but worked to my advantage later on back because he broke up with her days after and I was happy. Now we barely talk anymore but I managed to stay friends with him even tho my heart beats for him and only him