:(

Well it's been a few days since Diego texted me to wish me a merry Christmas and that he desactived his Facebook but he has managed to crushed me once again because he knows how I feel about him and I hate feeling like shit everytime we talk because I know deep down he still loves me and he wants a future with me but after all these years he hasn't made the approach to make our friendship flourish more then what it is then its time for me move on and find my happiness somewhere else and finally close this chapter of our lives for good. But how do I make my heart fully understand that he has managed to move on without me and I still can't move on without him?
Diego Alonso Abarca why did you come into my life if you never intended to stay like I hope you would? But what I learned from this experience with us is that I managed to move on from my crush I had on Luis back in 7th grade and that he was always part of my past and you were my future but I guess I was wrong in thinking that you were my future if you never intended to stay in the first place.
I love you Diego with all my life but you never appreciated my love for you like I did with yours. You managed to fucked up my life with jealously,anger,resentment toward love but I know I can say that I hate you but when we talk I know that's not true so I now know that if I need to get rid of this guilt that you made me feel when we broke up is that I need to stop thinking about the past and focus on the present without you!
Good luck with your life Diego and if you want me back in your life then you need to show me that we do belong together.

My beautiful Christmas <3

Well something unexpected happened to me last night while I was eating dinner with my family. my ex Diego texted me wishing me a merry christmas it felt weird talking to him again through text message because its been over a year since we last texted each other but it was good to hear from him again it gives me safety knowing that Im still on his mind and he hasnt forgotten about me. Now I feel like shit because he desactived his facebook and I feel like he did it because I commented on his profile picture. I dont know when its going to stop hurting everything he does and doesnt do. 4 years ago I was hurt alot but I managed to mature alot also because I was still a little girl that believed anything everyone told her and now I say fuck it I dont care if they like me or not I will do the fuck i want to do and thats how I feel everytime I talk to diego. I say Im strong but when he talks to me I melt inside and feel useless and powerless because he has total control of me and my true feelings for him.
Well I hope I can get rid of these feelings so I dont feel disappointed or hurt everytime I talk to him