My beautiful Christmas <3

Well something unexpected happened to me last night while I was eating dinner with my family. my ex Diego texted me wishing me a merry christmas it felt weird talking to him again through text message because its been over a year since we last texted each other but it was good to hear from him again it gives me safety knowing that Im still on his mind and he hasnt forgotten about me. Now I feel like shit because he desactived his facebook and I feel like he did it because I commented on his profile picture. I dont know when its going to stop hurting everything he does and doesnt do. 4 years ago I was hurt alot but I managed to mature alot also because I was still a little girl that believed anything everyone told her and now I say fuck it I dont care if they like me or not I will do the fuck i want to do and thats how I feel everytime I talk to diego. I say Im strong but when he talks to me I melt inside and feel useless and powerless because he has total control of me and my true feelings for him.
Well I hope I can get rid of these feelings so I dont feel disappointed or hurt everytime I talk to him